new york days

I’d like to write a play about space.

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:58:19 -0500

I’d like to write a play about space.

I got one of the letters last night and it took me by complete...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 10:39:00 -0500

I got one of the letters last night and it took me by complete surprise, slipping in quietly under my nose while I’d been too busy looking for a loud, storming entrance.

I think I’d lost any sense of my own movement and when I woke up this morning my roommate had left for Mexico and there was warm air blowing in through my window. I snoozed my alarm four times, thinking about a big breakfast and today’s meetings and how all I want to worry about this spring is slowing down to a snail’s pace and airing myself out in the sun.

Seamus, make me a side-arm to take on the earth

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:13:06 -0500

I was late waking up this morning and put on a stupid grey t-shirt and some extra perfume and the subway was so crowded that elbows were poking into my back and my face was pressed uncomfortably close to a stranger’s neck. But it didn’t matter because you can taste spring outside and everything feels like it’s waking up again. There are lots of good things right now:

Like a map of Spain on my wall to help plan our trip. Like two letters from my grandpa in one week. Like remembering to take my vitamins. Like a healthy dose of anxiety. Like watching the Oscars and eating enough sushi to feel sick to my stomach. Like being able to page through other people’s journals. Like knowing when it’s time to take a break. Like seeing letters I wrote when I was seventeen. Like having people to remind me to pay attention to all of this.

"Lately, it seems, going to the theater is a lot like going to the movies."

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:43:48 -0500

"Lately, it seems, going to the theater is a lot like going to the movies."

What cures the blues? A best friend and the oyster bar in Grand...

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:15:02 -0500

What cures the blues? A best friend and the oyster bar in Grand Central.

(via)

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 10:06:00 -0500

(via)

On patience

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 17:48:00 -0500

At 2:00, I stood on the corner and it looked like all of New York was melting under the first suggestion of spring. People peeled their coats off triumphantly and the remnants of last week’s snow formed little waterfalls from the rooftops and building facades. I waited to cross Broadway and thought about how everything right now feels like waiting. I’m not good at waiting- it’s up there with driving, Nintendo and washing my hair on a regular basis. I have virtually no patience, no matter how often I try to harvest it. I pick at the corners of things, assume I know better (I usually don’t) and no matter how many times I’ve done it, the process of waiting for a response from an application or a submission or an interview always feels like the most acute and self-inflicted torture imaginable.

After the third and final interview for my first real job, I moped around for days. I’d just moved to New York- presumably for this job- and couldn’t find a way to maneuver through the abyss of waiting. ”Send out more letters,” my mom said. I grumbled that it seemed like courting rejection, but she insisted. So for about three days I distracted myself from waiting by assuming I’d already been rejected.

I ended up getting the job (I got the call and accepted while waiting in an ATM vestibule near Columbus Circle) and, more importantly, learned that one of the only ways to survive the waiting is to put up a scarecrow and frighten it off. Skip off in the opposite direction, feign indifference, and cheerfully explore what you assume is the worst possible scenario. It’s a little mental trick and is certainly more productive than nail-biting (another thing I’m not good at).

Remember the Twyla Tharp rehearsals I sat in over the summer?...

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:21:00 -0500

Remember the Twyla Tharp rehearsals I sat in over the summer? The piece- Come Fly Away- opens later this month in New York and has a nice little write-up in this week’s New York Magazine.

Weekend reading- Fool For Love by Sam Shepard and one of...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:47:00 -0500

Weekend reading- Fool For Love by Sam Shepard and one of Braden’s early drafts of HERE.

My favorite Miranda

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:13:00 -0500

I’d been looking forward to The Tempest all day- all week, actually- but I was sadly disappointed. The seats were uncomfortable and there were long pauses where Prospero forgot his lines, looping back through his blocking to try and jog his memory until someone on stage finally whispered the words. This was in the first five minutes of the play and despite a stage covered in water and Caliban crawling out of the floor and trees lighting on fire, there was no magic to any of it.

The express train ran local because of the snow so by the time we got back to the apartment all the bars and restaurants were closing, except for the sushi bar across the street. I ordered Drambuie (warm) and we watched the women’s skating final and outside it kept snowing. The cars were moving slowly and our waitress was moving slowly and even I was moving slowly, stretching out words and touches and a general feeling of contentment for as long as it could last.

People I've been told I resemble in my glasses

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 11:17:58 -0500

1. Lois Lane

2. Tina Fey

3. An old man

Virtual molting

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 23:08:00 -0500

I’m not particularly good at seeing something out of nothing, but I’m exceptionally good at knowing when something has become nothing. I’ve been feeling for a while now that blogging has ceased to have the relevance that I want it to. The sense of continuity and communication now feels clunky and sort of vacuous. I thought maybe I was just being fickle until Neil Gaiman wrote a similar sentiment on his blog today.

It made me wonder if blogs are preparing to transform into the Next Big Thing. As I explained, I don’t have the vision to sense what that is or to start the trend myself, but I can definitely feel that blogs are beginning their decline.

Tuesday afternoon

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:07:00 -0500

Around 4:00 they all surprised me with an impromptu birthday celebration. We sat around the long silver table with almond cake and coffee and a pile of new books wrapped in green paper. As much as I relished getting away from the city, I’ve also never been happier to be back at work. I think this is the best proof of a well-executed vacation- a renewed energy and enthusiasm for your usual routines.

There’s a heavy snowstorm expected to hit the Northeast this evening and, strangely, the bulk of it is supposed to fall right over Manhattan. I’m already anticipating the pleasure of waking up to snow and wondering just how much it will take to prevent me from getting from Midtown East to Chelsea tomorrow morning.

One of my favorite things about my job is getting Philip...

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:00:07 -0500

One of my favorite things about my job is getting Philip Glass’s fan mail.

My camera died before I could capture the view from the left...

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:39:34 -0500

My camera died before I could capture the view from the left side of the plane- New York laid out like a pristine grid, beautiful as a myth and welcoming me home with big, sloppy kisses.

One of my favorite things about vacation? Having nothing to...

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:48:00 -0500

One of my favorite things about vacation? Having nothing to blog about!

Photo

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 20:10:00 -0500

Vacation, day one

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:41:36 -0500

This morning we sat down for breakfast and I felt like I was in New Orleans, the room open, spacious and sunny with ornate corners and smooth white tablecloths. It was half full, the only other tables crowded with serious-looking men talking business as they sipped their coffee and ate their eggs.

The tactile pleasures of good food and delicate clothing have become almost entirely foreign to me and I find myself admiring my meals and simply wandering through stores, touching everything between my thumb and forefinger. If I could, I would dress like a 1940s businessman every day- a well cut suit and conspicuous cuff links.

We’ve been drinking since breakfast and it makes the entire day feel unreal- velvety and smooth and silly. Breakfast drinks, lunch drinks, afternoon drinks. I’m wearing a dark green dress to dinner tonight and by now my hair is so long it almost kisses my waist and it’s clear that the only way to survive living in New York is to constantly have the means to leave it behind.

A much-needed hiatus…

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:38:24 -0500

A much-needed hiatus…

Early memories of my grandfather

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 22:39:00 -0500

A story about hotdogs.

His leather belt, which secretly hid thin folds of twenty dollar bills in the inside lining.

Being reprimanded via a long distance telephone call about my incorrect use of a hyphen.

Knee socks (mine) and Aviator sunglasses (his).